The Divine Center by Stephen R. Covey was particularly helpful in teaching me how to find the strength, through our Savior's love, to love and treat with patience and kindness those who were causing such hurt to myself and my family, particularly my husband. Covey said "When we love God and Christ first, we will love our spouse more, not less---with more true love, more wisdom, and more charity. Divine-centeredness is literally the key to a celestial relationship. If we are true and faithful to the covenants we make with the Lord, we will have the security, guidance, wisdom, and power to deal with problems in the marriage."
Further he taught, "True love is found in the affirmation of another person's identity and stewardship, in seeking his or her growth and good, not in interpreting all the other person's responses in terms of one's own needs, hungers, or desires...The key is to see others, particularly so called enemies, as they truly are---children of our Heavenly Father, for whose sins the Savior also atoned as he did for ours."
As I attempted to see my husband in this light I felt increased courage, strength, love and peace. I was not embittered by feelings of anger, despair, frustration, fear and hurt. It felt....good. Of course, not being even close to perfect, there were good days and not so good ones. Days I could see and love him as our Savior did and days, more like moments perhaps, that I found that more difficult. Once he had made the decision to end his relationship with her, I hoped he would love me. He didn't as of yet. At least he didn't recognize that he might love me. Even though he wasn't seeing her, I knew he missed her---or at least the idea of her.
"I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." Doctrine and Covenants 84:88
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