"True learning---life-changing learning---cannot be obtained without an immersion in the font of personal experience. I am not just talking about a kind of common sense that inevitably comes with personal experience or the education acquired in the 'school of hard knocks,' but a deeply spiritual linking of experience and intelligence, 'or, in other words, light and truth' (D&C 93:36), that causes a person to see with new eyes, hear with new ears, and feel with a new heart." Brent Top, When You Can't Do it Alone p2.
It was all new. I was new. But we seemed to be two friends sharing a house. He didn't talk about his experiences, feelings, desires, goals. But it wasn't bad either. Still, so much was missing. I was really stumped as to why he had never apologized for how he had broken my heart and my trust. All I could guess was that he was not over her.
I am certain there are those of you reading this who find it interesting but do not for a moment think this could ever happen to you. You may be thinking that this all happened because I made a choice in the first place to marry out of the temple. I have friends whose husbands have had affairs. Some are still married, others are now divorced. They had temple marriages. Their husbands served in bishoprics and as Elder's Quorum presidents. I warn you that it can happen to anyone! Satan does not want us to be successful at that which he will never have. Therefore, he gives high priority to the destruction of the family. Give him the tiniest opening and he will try to get in. I am not trying to scare you or predict that this will happen in your family, but I am warning that none of us can afford to be comfortable in these last days. We must be constantly vigilant if we are to weather the storms of life. Just as we must have food and fuel for a possible catastrophe, we must have spiritual reserves for the days of adversity that will be part of all of our lives.
I read an article in the Ensign years ago that I have never forgotten. The author suggested 4 things we must do daily to keep evil at bay.
1) study scripture. The key word is study...ponder, pray search.
2) prayer. Not just saying a prayer but talking to our Father.
3) Serve others. Remember "Empathy during agony is a portion of divinity" (Neal Maxwell).
4) Each day work on overcoming something you are struggling with. I call this repentance.
Doing all of this will not guarantee that adversity will not come into your life, but it will keep us from sin and help us be strong when adversity comes from the actions of others. We will be in tune to receive guidance, healing and strength from on high. We will not turn from our faith.
The next year is a blur. Day in and day out we existed together. Then, about a year after his ex-communication, he announced that he, along with a lot of others he worked with, had decided to leave their jobs at the airport and become flight attendants. We did not have a discussion about this, he just did it. Two weeks later he was on his way to Atlanta for 6 weeks of training. From there he would be based in New York indefinitely. I asked if she was going too. She had applied to be a flight attendant but had not made the cut. At least there was that. The day he left I sobbed the entire day. I would not see him for 6 weeks.
I continued to read and search for strength and answers. I continued to receive healing and love from on high.
How grateful I am for my Savior.
No comments:
Post a Comment