His love

I have to correct myself. I said that I received an impression that marriage isn't so much about him making me happy or me making him happy. That is not exactly what I meant to say. President Hinckley once said that marriage isn't so much about romance as the anxious caring and concern for the well being of one's mate.
Surely we should want to help our spouse to find happiness. We want to bring joy into their life. But for us to expect our spouse to "make me happy" is not the purpose of marriage. Happiness has to come from within and when we love and serve our spouse we are happy. Even during those horrid, painful days I could find happiness by serving him and forgetting myself.
So marriage isn't really about whether or not he makes me happy, but how much I can help him home. Like I said before, I learned that if I want a marriage in which each of us gives equally and I keep track of that it will end up being more like 25-15 or some other equally destructive ratio. But if I can give 150% even when he won't there's a chance, with my Savior as my advocate, he will start to give more.
finding happiness from within is the hardest lesson of life. It is found in our Savior's love.
Imagine that as you are sitting here right now our Savior enters the room and walks directly to you. He puts His hand on your shoulder and you look up into His warm, kind, patient, compassionate, loving eyes. “I love you” He says. You reply “Me? How can you love me?” As you start a steady flow of all the reasons why you don’t deserve His love, He puts His hand to your mouth to stop you “I love you.” He emphatically replies.
Imagine Him taking you into his arms and saying “Walk with me. Feel my love and strength. Let me be your teacher. Let me be your guide. Let me love you.” Can you feel the strength and joy and peace that would bring?
He does love you. He knows you personally. He is always available to you. Trust that. Trust Him. Love Him. Let Him love you.
I know my Savior lives. I know it! I love him and thank him for his unwavering love and incredible patience with me as I try to trust that he could really love me. I thank him for the power His love gives me when I feel powerless. I know that with Him nothing is impossible! I thank him for actually experiencing my pains, my sorrows, all the experiences of my life and most of all for taking my sins on him in His Gethsemane so that I can be redeemed and be comforted and strengthened by His incomparable love in mine. I love Him for always running to me even when I fail to notice. He is always there.